Ambivalent

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As I go to bed, I think of the decision that has to be made. I feel your dark brown eyes looking at me as if staring right at my soul. Your voice echoes in my mind and I think about the honey like purity in it. You are as imperfect as I am but for some reason, I feel that you are better than me. You make me feel insecure about myself, my looks, my body. I should be happy being me but my heart wants to be perfect….for you. I know our destinations does not collide and never will but what I don’t know, is the journey, we have to take. Every night I decide to call you tomorrow and tell you all of my feelings but as the morning approaches, my heart gets second thoughts and these second thoughts are eating me up. I call you at times, but never tell you the true reason of calling you. We’re two different people, living in two different universe but somehow it collides for a second but this collision won’t last long and I have to make my decision soon but my indecisive mind corrupt my heart’s feelings and leave me hollow. It takes a lot of courage to be who you want to be, to show your true self, to spread you feelings like a carpet and show it to another person. I doubt if I’m brave enough to show my deepest oceans to you. The melody of my heart has been a secret and I want to reveal it but at the same time, keep it hidden in my heart, so that the only person who can listen its tune is me.

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